The Five Stages Of Christmas.

So, the big day has been and gone and we're bubble and squeaking our way through the last of the Christmas leftovers. The little mans room resembles Toys R us' shop floor after a busy Saturday and I can't even look at another mince pie.

Sitting here, three days later, drinking Baileys and eating Chocolates with no idea what day it is. I can look back on the past week with a fondness that is typical of Stage 5.

I have come to the conclusion that, for parents, there are not 12 days but 5 stages of Christmas:

Stage 1 - Annoyance 

Leaves have barely begun to fall from the trees outside when most shops are erecting their Christmas Trees inside.
Much premature excitement from the little ones follows and you'll spend the next few months reminding them that advent calendars don't have 100 windows for a reason.

Stage 2 - Panic

Yes, the shops have been banging on about  it for months but you didn't realise it was this close! Stage 2 panic usually  peaks the Saturday before Christmas when the only present you've bought is a pair of socks for your father in law.

Stage 3 -  Stress

The night before Christmas brings stress like no other. Whether you're praying for the turkey to defrost in time, worried you've forgot somebodies present or waiting for the kids to finally fall asleep. Christmas eve has the potential to tip us over the edge.

Stage 4 - Joy

If you're anything like me then you're more excited than the kids on Christmas morning. There's nothing more joyous than the look on a child's face when the realise Santa has visited.

Remarkably, the stress of days passed is magically wiped away the second you sit with your loved ones around the dinner table. Though, this may have something to do with all of the Christmas Snowballs!

Stage 5 - Nostalgia 

This side of Christmas. The chocolates are half eaten and it's almost time to resolve to avoid them. Over indulgence guilt and new-present-storage worry can make you fond of the simpler carefree days of Christmas and Boxing Day.

As for me, I'm holding onto my Christmas spirit for as long as possible. Tomorrow I'll be listening to Slade with a glass of Mulled wine!


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RIP shay shay bombay