Making new friends at school.
It turns out I had nothing to worry about, my son had made a best friend after the first week and is invited to at least one birthday party a month. Even after the great ‘worm eating’ incident back in November, my child has remained a firm favorite among the reception set.
Relieved though I am that my son is a well adjusted, socially savvy child. If I’d known back then what I know now, I would have spent more time worrying about myself.
Making friends with the other parents was not nearly as easy for me as it was my son. I hadn’t expected to be the new kid at school all over again. Trying desperately to fit in with the other parents, the ones who hung around outside school in gangs gossiping, the ones who blocked the footpath as they strolled along with their skyscraper prams, chattering away. I wanted to be a part of it!
Had I known what to expect I would have spent that time preparing myself for the months of awkward school yard silences and Olympic standard eye dodging that ensued. I might have even come up with a better plan of attack.
I hope that the my ten tips will help other parents to become a school yard hit:
- First Impressions count - I know it seems hard on those first days of school, especially when your worried about your little darling. But this is a perfect time to introduce yourself to the other parents and set the foundations for your friendships to blossom.
Get Networking- Try to attend at least one family fun day or church hall event per moth. It’s a great chance for the kids to see each other outside of school and a brilliant opportunity to strike up a conversation with other parents.
RSVP - Yes, yes a thousand times yes, children’s birthday parties are a goldmine if your hoping to make some new friends yourself. The beauty of the birthday party is that the host has an obligation to talk to the other parents, if you are the host, even better. Get mingling!
Names are very important - If you're anything like me you have to hear them 10 times before they sink in, but try to remember the names of your child’s classmates. A simple ‘ aren’t you so and so's mum’ can be a handy opening line when making new friends. Failing that, try to at least remember the children’s faces and the faces of their parents. I remember only too clearly the moment when I asked one of the mums at my sons party if her daughter'd had fun. I turned beetroot when she pointed to her son (who I’d already met) and told me that he had a wonderful time..
Bake don’t Buy - Another lesson learnt the hard way. I tuned up at the gates with a packet of Asda’s finest fairy cakes for the school fair. The other parent’s stared at me in appalled silence, they had all brought cakes of the home made variety, carried in pretty patterned cake tins.
Buying cakes for the fair is school yard suicide.
Volunteer - I know running a stall at the school fair is probably the last thing you want to do with your weekend. But it’s a great way to meet the other parents, get your face out there and (whisper it) it’s really fun and rewarding too.
Say Hello - That awkward moment in the supermarket when you see a parent from your child’s school at the end of the aisle. Now I’m ashamed to say that more than once I have dived into the next isle and hidden amongst the loaves. I’ve since discovered that stopping to say hi isn’t at all bad. It’s worth noting that once you have been helloed you are then obliged to hello that person on all future encounters, until you leave the shop.
Get to know the class teacher - Your child’s class teacher should be number one on your social hit list. They have the power and if you make the effort they can prove to be very helpful. The class teacher is like a who’s who of parents. My sons class teacher has introduced me to parents who could help me with my childcare and parents who could help me with my Spanish. She has also recommended me to parents who are interested in some of the after school activities that my son attends.
Smile - A smile is worth thousand words, or so they say. When making friends with other parents, smiling really does make you more approachable. My partner doesn’t smile very much at all, he’s a lovely person but his face tells a different story. On the other hand, I am a smiler, I smile without even thinking about it and have often been told that I have a happy face. Other parents (even dads) will always approach me first, until they've sussed out the surly looking one.
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